Jan 24, 2011

I Hope...

I hope I'm not getting my hopes up for nothing.

I have been looking forward to starting this small ensemble for over half a semester.  Plans have been in the works for just as long, and I've even gone so far as to hand pick the members in them... I have crafted what I believe to be an extremely strong program, and have gone so far as to analyze (or at least highlight some notes) into each piece.

I hope it's not all for naught.

I hope that I can trust these people.

I hope that I won't not use too many double-negatives.

Wait...

Honestly though, there's so much excitement going into this next semester.  I am so pleased with this prospect, and yet... There are doubts.  I think that I've put more work into this ensemble in a few short weeks than I have with anything in my life, ever.  It's starting to become a sort of obsession.

Will I be able to craft this ensemble into what I want it to be?

Will I be able to count on the musicians?

Will I be a good enough teacher?

Will they listen to me, even though I'm their peer?

Will I lose my dignity...?  Will someone caaaaaaare?

Wait.

I suppose this counts as my first "selfish" use for my blog.  I'm just nervous as all get-out.  Nervous enough to use such an archaic term.

You understand.

Here's a picture of a bunny to offset the anxiety.

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