Week four started off great. Went out running (pushed myself and went in spurts of 90 second running, then walking instead of 60 sec. of running). However... the pain in my knee and upper leg area persisted... After talking to my mom, we decided not to really push it and to see what would happen if I were to go on the elliptical.
Which never happened, but that's a story for later.
Tuesday was good as well... I went to the gym and pushed myself on the weights. I need to find someone to work out with me in the mornings, because I feel like I want to bench press... but I don't have anyone to spot me... Therefore I'm cautious. And if I'm cautious, then I won't push myself. You get the point. Anyway, I worked out my upper body and stuff, and that was all good.
Wednesday I didn't go... for some reason. I can't quite remember... I think I had some like bullshit reason that I had to let my knee rest. Thursday and Friday I was super busy with DePauw Discourse stuff (we had Yo-Yo Ma come and give a bunch of lectures and masterclasses! That is a blog post in and of itself... to come soon).
Total pounds lost: 0. At least I haven't gained any, right?
I am going to be making more of an effort to work out - even with my super busy week ahead. Two exams and a presentation - let's gooooo!
I should be marking my fourth week of full exercise.
However, I am not.
At least for last week, my knee bothering me kept me from running Monday and Wednesday... I lifted weights on Thursday, and resumed running on Friday. My knee seems very opposed to the idea of doing work... It's kind of like the rebellious teenager, pushing back on the authority of my brain and lashing out. Now it seems much more willing, but only time will tell. Poundage lost during last week: 1.
This week I was determined to start off on a good streak. I went running on Monday and felt really good about it. I went and lifted weights on Tuesday and felt really good about it.
And then Wednesday hit.
I have no idea what happened to me on that morning, but my body REFUSED to wake up. It was like my body all of a sudden rebelled against my brain and said "screw you, I'm going to sleep." Which I did. Luckily (or unluckily, I should say), my running partner Jordan was feeling sick, so he didn't go either.
I did go to the gym on Thursday though, so there's that. But I didn't go running on Friday, for much of the same reason as Wednesday. Poundage lost: 1.
I'm trying to go up a step in my running process. I had previously been jogging for 60 seconds and walking for 90 seconds for 20 minutes, as a kind of low-intensity regimen. The next step in the program is reversing it... jogging for 90 seconds and walking for 60. I think I'll try that tomorrow and see how I feel. Running has been getting steadily easier and easier for me, and I think it may be time to add on a little more intensity.
So yeah. I'm kind of excited, and I'm trying to get back into the motivation that I had at the beginning of the year. It's hard work, but I'm trying to think long term, and not just "omg i werked out for like 5 min y am i not skinny yet???????!!?!?!1"
Monday I went out running with my roommate. I'm on what's called a "couch to 5k" running plan, which is a 9 week program that starts off easy(ish) and gets incrementally harder with each week. The starting week was a 20 min. session of jogging for a minute and walking for 90 seconds.
Actually it started off well, and as the run progressed and I got more and more tired, every time I felt like I was about to die my roommate would be like "ok, stop."
I assume this means that that's the right level for me to start off with.
After the run I felt so sick. I was just sitting in my room and trying to stretch everything out and fighting the pangs of nausea and lightheadedness. Then I went to take a shower, and started feeling better.
Then I went to go lay down.
Actually though, once I did that I started feeling MUCH better... And as I went through the day, I found that I was a lot more energetic and alert than I would have been (probably).
It also might have been the huge cup of coffee that I drank, but I'm telling myself it's the run.
Wednesday marked day 2 of running. I should probs mention that Monday evening and most of Tuesday my leg muscles were BURNING. It was not fun (although it felt good to know that I was working my muscles).
Wednesday morning we went out again, for the same duration of time. However, I found myself running faster and getting less winded as we stopped. This would, in fact, turn and bite me in my rear-end, but at the time I thought "ooh, look at me! Size 26 waist in NO TIME!" (might be an exaggeration).
About halfway through the run I start FEELING IT. Like holy crap. I should also mention that we aren't running on like a track or treadmill, but an actual hilly trail.
And the way back is uphill.
Anyway, I about die on my way back, and I feel even MORE sick than on Monday, which is good because I ran faster and stuff, but I was basically holding back from throwing up...
And then cue some more of feeling good for the day, blablablabla until later that night when my knee starts aching something FIERCE. Like not strain ache, but like bones rubbing together ache. I went out to buy a knee brace and stuff, and it's only now getting better. Needless to say that I didn't go out running on Friday.
But it's ok! I'm not like beating myself up about it, and I'm actually pretty excited to go out again once my knee gets better (which'll be on Monday. I've decided).
I also lost 5 pounds! I was like oh my god! It was great.
I'm quite proud of myself for actually having the motivation to WANT to stick to something like this! I think it's a mark of my shift in needing to rely on others to relying on myself, and it's a great blablablablablablabla emotional hippie crap that can wait till another blog post.
I am about to embark on a quest. No, not one to find the holy grail, but one for self-improvement.
I think I'm at a place in my life now where I am actually motivated for the right reasons. In past years, I guess I've had this impression that if I were to be skinny, that I would all of a sudden overnight become this magical beast that is full to the brim of self-confidence, wit, and that I would have suitors of every type coming after me.
...This may or may not be exaggerated.
At any rate, I thought that just shedding weight would make me instantly a better person.
I think that I put so much stock into this dream that I then would work out super hard one week, be tired and sore, and NOT see any results.
Thus begat my cycle of impatience and stuff, as seen in my previous post.
Now, however, I have realized some things.
1) Just because someone is skinny - wait for it - is not an indication of their worth as a person. And just because I am overweight does not marr my personality a bit. Nor does it make me any more of a person to be fit. I have to work on everything equally if I want to be the best that I can be.
2) It. Takes. Patience. Just going to the gym and running 5 miles on the treadmill is not going to turn you into a superhunk if you only go once a month. All you will accomplish is that you will kill your legs for two days after.
3) ???
4) PROFIT
...At any rate.
I am starting this running program that will supposedly get me away from my 'OMG SEDENTARY' lifestyle to that of a semi-runner. It starts slow, but it ramps up with each week. Along with my Asian posts, I am going to try to keep a log of how the experience is going. I figure if I post some updates, I'll hold myself more accountable, and also motivate myself by trying to to fail and look stupid in front of you guys (you know, because I have a GIGANTIC subscriber base. SO MANY PEOPLE want to see what I have to say).
Um, but yeah. I think that's all I have to say. I'm gonna go read Shakespeare now.
